Taming the Fear Factor
You will find that many of my blogs focus on our dreaded foe, FEAR. I want to address fears that keep us from doing what we want to do and being who we want to be. In essence, this enemy [FEAR] keeps us from living our dreams.
Fear actually does have a useful purpose; it can work to keep you safe. The problem comes when, in an attempt to keep you safe, it keeps you stagnant. There are different situations that bring about fear. We may fear being faced with serious health issues. We may fear losing our jobs. We may fear confronting toxic relationships. We may fear financial challenges. We may fear what’s happening in our political climate and our communities. Regardless of the category, most people don’t move forward because they are facing one or more of the these fears, and it affects the way they go through life.
I personally have experienced a variety of fears, and as a result, endured many disappointments and much frustration in my life. Looking back on how my fears paralyzed me, it’s no wonder that it took me so long to get to where I am now. I think that the biggest problem was that I had not identified FEAR as the problem. I called it being cautious; protecting myself; staying in my own lane; being accommodating, having patience, etc. Bottom line was, I was afraid. Let me give you an example.
Several years ago, I was working in a position in which I found immense satisfaction. I was an Office Manager and I loved it. The job allowed me to interact with others daily and to find solutions to problems that would arise. My personality is geared toward organization and leadership; I had had plenty of experience in this capacity so I was truly in my area of expertise. The money and the benefits were satisfactory, so I thought I would be there for many years to come.
Then the economic recession hit and it hit hard. My place of employment was affected. I didn’t lose my job, but my hours were cut almost in half. At the time, I was in the middle of a divorce and was raising my two sons alone. This was not a good time for me to have a reduction in income. Because I was happy where I was though, I chose to remain in the position in the hopes that things would pick back up and my hours would be restored. Also, I felt a lot of loyalty to my employers, so I didn’t want them to think I was leaving a sinking ship.
Actually, I stayed too long—so much so that I was in danger of losing my home. I had already cut out all luxuries (we think they are necessities now, but they really aren’t) such as cable TV and Internet service, health club memberships, and anything else that would lessen our expenses. I was barely bringing in enough money to cover the utilities and my car note; yet I stayed. When Hurricane Ike hit, I was blessed to have escaped much damage to my house; but the little damage that did occur, I could not afford to have it repaired because windstorm insurance was one of the items I cut from my budget.
I had convinced myself that I stayed out of loyalty and love for the job, but when I got honest with myself (and this was several years afterward), I realized that I stayed because I didn’t want to face the challenges of looking for another job. Job hunting is a whole new animal now. The hoops you have to go through now are overwhelming. So, it was easier to make myself believe I was doing the honorable thing by staying than to admit that I was afraid of getting out into the job market again.
“Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.” - Isaiah 41:10 MSG
Because God is so faithful, I eventually experienced a favorable ending, but I suffered through a lot of stress and discomfort that I probably could have avoided.
What is fear stopping you from doing? Take a few minutes and think about it. What could be different in your life right now if you were not afraid of moving forward?
