Fear of rejection is one of the strongest fears for humankind. It is actually at the root of other fears, such as the fear of looking foolish, the fear of abandonment, and even the fear of loneliness. Think about it. If you fear looking foolish in someone else’s eyes, you are actually afraid they will reject you. If someone rejects you or your ideas, you fear it could lead to them abandoning you. The fear of abandonment may cause you to feel doomed to living a life of loneliness.

Rejection comes in many forms such as not being chosen, not being included, not being accepted or considered, or by being overlooked.  The feelings associated with rejection are painful and often leave deep emotional scars that some people carry throughout their lives. It colors the way they see the world and their place in it. It elicits such a deep heaviness that it is palpable.

Fear of rejection can lead to becoming a people pleaser. Have you ever watched someone who is obviously intent on pleasing a certain person? Their behavior often results in the pleaser forfeiting their own needs, wants, and sometimes even their values just to stay in the other person’s good graces. They will jump through hoops to get that person’s attention and approval. This type of behavior is seen in all types of relationships—including parent/child, husband/wife, employer/employee—and can last a lifetime.

Throughout my lifetime, I have faced many occurrences and types of rejection—some real and others perceived. One of my own personal experiences with rejection involved my search for suitable employment. Despite the illegality of employment discrimination due to gender, race, religious affiliation, age, etc., it is obviously much harder for older workers to be hired in today’s economy— regardless of their experience, skills, or education. Ageism is alive and well and living in America. Just ask any senior out there looking for work. This has been especially apparent since the pandemic.

If you have spent any time on this earth, you know someone who has (or you have personally) experienced the deep pain of rejection from a loved one. This is particularly wounding because you allowed yourself to be vulnerable enough for someone to come into your heart. Again, it doesn’t much matter whether this was a romantic relationship, a parent-child relationship, other family member, or a trusted friendship. The pain inflicted by a loved one is deep and unrelenting.

However, there is good news regardless of your particular situation! You don’t have to fear rejection. It’s a matter of changing your mindset to your benefit. Rejection can sometimes be a sign that you need to move on or reinvent yourself. Granted, doing so will not be easy, but the work that is involved is well worth the effort. Giving up on your future and your possibilities is not an option, so your fear needs to be replaced with a new vision for your life and dogged determination to live with the peace, love, and joy that you deserve.. This is a great time to make a fresh start. Revisit your old dreams and look at them with fresh eyes. I’ve had to do just that many times. That’s exactly what I did when searching for ways to live out my purpose, and that led me to this rewarding career in coaching.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” - Proverbs 4:23

Are you dealing with feelings of rejection that have kept you stagnant? Have those emotional scars kept you from venturing into the world of possibilities that awaits you? You are in the driver’s seat of your life. It’s time to make a new start! You have the power within to make the changes that will take you to higher levels of health, wealth, love, and zest for living. Let’s get going!

Remember, if you need help in getting through the struggles and emotional roadblocks from your past or your current situations, help is just a call away. Contact me at Lois@thepathwaycoach.com. We will work through them together.

Blessings,

Lois