February is when we ‘celebrate’ love. However, relationships are not always loving. We see it all the time; instances where people are used, abused, and mistreated—sometimes by the very people they should be able to trust.

Lying, stealing, cheating, manipulating, bullying, belittling, and uneven unforgiveness are primarily used to hurt others. I believe the root of this type of treatment by the perpetrators is fear of their own pain. Instead of acknowledging the pain they are experiencing on the inside, they turn it outward and decide to inflict pain on others because, after all, misery loves company.

This doesn’t have to be the case. Good relationships, regardless of the type, can be fostered through open, honest communication. The problem is that not many of us know how to communicate with others. We think we do, but the fact that we don’t shows up in how we relate to one another. Jesus gave the command in John 13:34 that we love one another as He has loved us. Love is not just something you say, but something you show. Love is an action word.

“A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; even as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” - John 13:34 ASV

I’ve witnessed bullying in too many instances, and it saddens me. I’ve seen employers bully their employees with the threat of losing their jobs; lovers bully their mates with threats of withholding love and affection, or even worse, with physical violence; warring parents bully each other with threats of separating them from their children. Sadly enough, I’ve even seen bullying against the unfortunate and weak by law enforcement and government.

Bullying is only one of the many ways hurting people lash out to hurt others. Belittling others is the worst! It’s a form of bullying and more acutely shows the insecurities of the bully rather than the shortcomings of the victim. The saying is true that people who are hurting tend to try to hurt others.

We have all been hurt by others at some point in life, but we don’t have to live in the shadow of that hurt. Doing so gives too much power to the perpetrators. Instead, take back your control and be determined to move past those hurts and walk victoriously toward the amazing future God has in store for you.

If you need help in getting there, I’m here to help. Reach out to me at Lois@thepathwaycoach.com.

Blessings,

Lois