As we go through life, we are continually reminded to put the wants and needs of others before our own. Not doing so sometimes causes us to be labeled as selfish.  Merriam-Webster defines “selfish” as having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feelings of other people. Being selfish has been cast in a negative light, as well it should be.

Even the definition of love involves choosing someone else over yourself. I agree with this principle; not to the extent that you don’t take care of your own needs, but a great way of showing love is when you attend to the needs of others.

However, I want to direct you to instances when you should place the emphasis on self.  I’m not talking about getting your own way to the exclusion of others. Nor am I referring to the usual instructions about taking care of your body. I’m talking about taking care of your mental and emotional wellbeing. When it comes to self-care, there are some habits and attitudes that should be eliminated and others that should be promoted.

There are times when you are too ‘self’-centered. Get rid of these destructive habits and thought patterns:

• Self-doubt – it seems that whenever you get ready to take on a challenge, self-doubt creeps in and brings anxiety along with it. “Can I actually pull this off? What if my project is a complete failure?” or “What if they don’t like me?”

• Self-pity – when you look around at others who seem to be flourishing and you’re not, self-pity raises its ugly head. “Why can’t I seem to get it together?” or “I never get a break!”

• Self-sabotage – your actions don’t line up with the results you are looking for. “I know I need to exercise, but I don’t feel like it right now. Missing one day won’t hurt.”

Instead of living out the negative experiences of ‘self’, intentionally take actions that will boost you towards ultimate happiness and success.

• Self-esteem – when you accomplish a task—even a small one—you feel good about yourself

• Self-confidence – being prepared is one of the best ways to gain self-confidence. Do your homework; be prepared.

• Self-awareness – knowing who you really are and what you really want makes it easier to set boundaries—for yourself and others

• Self-discipline – doing what should be done, despite how you feel, will be rewarded greatly

• Self-promotion – it’s okay to promote yourself—especially professionally. Done tastefully, this might possibly get you to the level you have been striving for.

Building yourself up through personal development can’t help but lead you down the path toward happiness and success. Take care of yourself in order to take better care of others. When you feel good about you, what you give to others will come from a place of authenticity.

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?” - 1 Corinthians 3:16 NIV

Treat yourself well. You’re worth it!

Comments? Send them to Lois@thepathwaycoach.com.

Blessings and Favor,

Lois